Mikayla on a Mission: Week 6: um, je suis mauvais avec les lignes de sujet (Um, I'm bad with subject lines)

So this week was something that's for sure.

To start off I'm in a trio now for the last days here because it was time for a sister in my district to go home because God needs her there.

It's something that we've all been thinking about a lot, but in all seriousness, until you're here, in this position, it's so hard to realize and so easy to judge when we don't understand.

There are so many things that are hard here (in the MTC) and I won't lie and say that I haven't thought about coming home because the MTC is hard -- but there is no way to describe what it is like until you're here. Everyone says it's hard, but no one tells you exactly how, and they don't really want to because it is a deterrent to come.

A mission is a good thing, a really good thing, but an extremely hard thing. When you think you're prepared -- you're really not, and when you don't think you're prepared, then it's scary. To those missionaries that go home -- it takes courage and strength to make that choice, and to those missionaries who push through the judgement and pain and stay faithful to the Lord -- they are some of the spiritually strongest people in the world.

God knows us inside and out and he knows the choices we're probably going to make. So, when missionaries go home or request a change of mission, for whatever reason, God knows and is ready for them. And most times I think God needs them where they are.

There are opportunities everywhere that he has given us and he will work with it and just wants us to be happy. That goes for both Elders and Sisters. It doesn't matter why they go home, they are where God needs them and he will help them figure out the best path for them.

Okay, sorry for my hopefully not too much of a rant, but it was so painful to watch this sister struggle medically and finally make this decision to go home, right after another Elder had to go home for the same medical issue -- the almost fear they had in going home was awful. God gives us all different trials but some end up with stigmas in the church and being on this side of it, where I was with this sister constantly because we are always all together, it was terrible and just made me so sad. Those who go home need love and we are charged to love them, not judge them.

Yesterday was in-field orientation and I'm so excited and so nervous. It's a wonderful roller coaster to be on. (Hear the sarcasm, haha)

Ah, we leave Monday and then it's France!

I am so not ready, but I'm about as ready as I'll ever be because these last few days especially, but these last few weeks, I've felt like I've plateaued because we can only do so much here and the field will be so different -- but I'm excited and I'm praying for my trainer and hopefully me and her will mesh.

So my funny moment of the week was when another sister in our zone was walking up these bleacher steps after choir and she lost her shoe, so her companion goes, "Who are you Cinderella?" and at that very moment a random elder was like, "In 2 years sister," and it was sooooooo funny.

Right after that we went up to this sister to laugh about it and my district sisters were joking that she should write her email on the bottom of the shoe (because we've gone back in time and now it's - ASK FOR THEIR EMAIL). As we turned around to walk out of the door, the Elder was still there who had made the comment and he was so red. He felt bad though and apologized to his companion and was just like, "It was so perfect I just had to say that." The elder had gotten stuck because there was a traffic jam at the door, but we hadn't noticed because we were laughing so hard, it was so funny.

Not much else happened this week, it kind of flew by! Tomorrow morning is my last normal day and then everything is crazy!

Sunday we are doing a "music in the spoken word" (meaning there would only be music during sacrament meeting and no speakers). I'm basically playing or accompanying the whole time because there are so many in my branch that are leaving with us that have musical talents - which is just crazy. My sight reading skills are insanely improved since I've been having to play all these difference pieces that just get set down in front of my face, I love it though:)

And Sunday night me and Sister Robb are playing at a devotional which will be awesome! I'm also teaching Relief Society on the ordinances of baptism and receiving the Holy Ghost, which I have come to realize, you need them both together -- baptism by water and fire -- and you can't have one without the other or else it doesn't count.

I also loved our Tuesday night devotional from Elder Dube. I just loved his talk and everything he said was so kind and full of love and it was just wonderful:) He was great and talked about our purpose, but applied it in a way I hadn't really applied it, which was to myself. I need to help others come unto Christ, but I need to help myself come closer to Christ too. He also said if we are ever doubting our effectiveness to just go, "Mister Devil, it is none of your business!" and move on because we are disciples of Christ. We are missionaries of Christ, and He has our backs. He will fix our mistakes and always provide a way.

Think that's about it, love you all

Sister Mikayla Beatty